I can wait

Does anyone else have the feeling that I do right now? The feeling that something big is coming. That change is just around the corner. That this mundane life we are leading is just a precursor to something better. I really do believe it.
I have been slowly but steadily removing/cutting out anything from life that would hold me back. No more negative people or situations. It is as if I am clearing out the closet of my life to allow something new to appear. For some reason I am in a great place of peace right now. You would think that I would be impatient. I just know that things will fall into place at the perfect time.
I can wait. I know that it is going to be fantastic and I can wait. I have the rest of my life to celebrate that. I know deep in my heart that this is one of those moments in life that I am so happy to be aware of. We don’t always know what is coming and I for one am so excited to just be.
My heart and mind are open to all of the new possibilities. I am sending out love to everyone who needs it tonight. Why not share this awesome feeling with you all. I am blessed.

Do you believe that you have a choice?

Which path do you choose? Do you have a choice? Do you believe that you have a choice?

I have been thinking about this lately as I am finding many people in my life that are showing up and pushing this into my face. (Well it certainly feels like it anyway). There are many people who I notice live in denial land. They are quite happy not to see the reality or to blame someone or something else for their lot in life. They prefer to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions. This would be ok if the consequences only affected them. But sadly this is not the case in the real world. In the real world people get hurt at the hands of those that do not see or do not wish to see. You usually would say that these people are selfish and show no empathy towards others. They ride rough shod over others feelings and move onto the next victim. We all know someone like that. They act like they know what empathy is. They know what it looks like in others. But they prefer to manipulate to get what they want because that is more important to them. Is this because they have no choice, no control over their actions? I always thought that everyone had a choice. But I am finding that it is hard for me to believe that someone would live that way willingly. To lurch from one drama to the next, over and over again. It sounds like torture to me. To feel that you have to justify your actions to everyone all the time would just be exhausting.

How do you deal with it? This would depend on your own coping skills. It would also depend on who that person is in your life. You know the old adage “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”. It is easy to avoid a non-family member, but what if it is your immediate family? Do you cut them out of your life or do you find a way to be civil? Do you cope with the toxic family relationships because you know that to break away would invite a barrage of drama (and by this I mean emotional blackmail – you know master manipulators) by the others to bring you back into line to play the role that you have always played? I find it quite interesting how someone can take such awful behaviour from family because it is what they are used to, even if logically you know it is wrong, you still catch yourself falling into old behaviour patterns.

Choosing to follow a different path will invite resistance and sometimes pain. Here is another gem – It is a sign of insanity to repeat the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. You come to a point in life where you have no option but to change. You have every right to feel safe in your own home. You do not have to accept these behaviours just because it has always been that way. We all have that inner strength to change our lives for the better. You just have to believe it.

Life is about living – not surviving, waiting, expecting, wishing or hoping to be happy.

Be aware that you have a choice. You can decide to avoid people who influence your life in a negative way. Surround yourself with those spirits that see the real you and accept you for who you are. Understand that to focus on the past, the negative patterns and the pain stops you from living in the here and now. Shine your light into this world, it is what you were put on this earth for. Do not let anyone stand in your way. You come from love. You are loved every day of your life. Do not end up on your death bed full of regret about a chance that was lost.

You may be thinking – easier said than done and that is so true. The spiritual path that you choose to walk upon is yours and yours alone. Let it be about positive and happy thoughts. Love.

I wouldn’t have it any other way

I have been absent from the blogesphere for a while. I have been dealing with a personal crisis that has subsided for now anyway. One thing I have noticed is how life goes on – no matter what is happening around you. I still had to look after the family. I still had to work two jobs. I had to contend with the everyday running of the household. I had to put up a front to my children as I did not want to worry them. I lost sleep. I became ill as I was run down. But life still had to go on. How many of us do this everyday?  It helped knowing that my problems were not so bad and that there are others dealing with much more than I – this put things into perspective. It helped to know that this will pass and things will get better. I know that. Meditation has become all the more important as I contend with a crook neck due to the stress. I have been trying to focus on the children and the joy that they can bring. I have been spending time with my family and friends. But something had to give and that was my writing. It is very difficult to get into the right head space to be creative when you are feeling overwhelmed with life. I am back. How I miss using my creative outlet. It feels like I have lost a part of me when I am away.

My little boy is nearly two and I have been really enjoying watching him learn to speak. He certainly knows how to make himself understood even if he doesn’t know all the words yet 🙂 My eldest is learning how to drive – what fun that is. The kids are on school holidays so there goes any assemblance of routine for two weeks 🙂 I am just so happy that we are all together, happy and healthy. What more can I ask for. I am so grateful. My house is certainly lived in and life is not perfect – I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sending out love and light to everyone.

Everything else is just gravy

My life has been full of contradictions lately. From day to day, even from hour to hour, it has been a curious mix of good and bad. I know that life has a way of doing that. You make choices and you have to live with the consequences of your actions. I also know stuff happens and that is just the way that it is. Sometimes you can have a feeling of such elation and then be plunged into utter despair, such is life. I am very grateful for the life I have, it is full of family and love. I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard, which is more than most. My children keep me grounded and as long as they are healthy and happy, then everything else is just gravy.

There has been plenty of self talk. When I feel myself plunging into my old negative ways of self doubt, I give myself a kick in the seat of the pants and desist. I am a good person, I am not my past and I am not the person others make me out to be. I have broken that old record and that recording no longer controls me. I have had a very turbulent three years and it is all about to come to an end and I am ecstatic at that prospect. 🙂

Something big is coming and my life will never be the same. It is going to be very positive. I believe that. I am making that choice.

For anyone feeling like there is no end, that all is dark and there is no way out, take heart. Nothing ever stays the same. Focus on bringing joy to others then joy will come to you. Sending out love, light and healing to all.

Trish

One little gesture at a time

Today I caught myself doing it again. I felt myself getting pulled into the drama. The drama of other people’s problems or negative behaviour. I literally catch myself in the act and tell myself off. 🙂 You cannot control what other people do and say. You can control your own actions though. I choose to focus on the positive. I will not let others emotionally blackmail me. I have had enough of that for a life time. There is a lot to be said for child like innocence. A jaded perspective is not an enviable one. I love that my little son has that child like wonder about everything. He brings me such joy. I would rather look at life as a series of moments and memories. I wake up happy and I go to bed that way because I choose to. Yes, as a parent I certainly have responsibilities and worries. We all do. But they do not control me. It is natural to have your ups and downs in life. It is like a series of waves. In the natural order of things nothing stays the same. Change is natural. The saying – Go with the flow – comes to mind here. I do try, I am a work in progress. A lovely work of art. 🙂 Hey, nothing wrong with talking myself up here. Focus the positive inwards and outwards I say. You can change the world with an attitude like that. One little gesture at a time. Love and light to you all.

Sleep will do that for you

I had a few days off away from writing so I could recuperate 🙂 I have finally caught up with my sleep and had a great time bonding with my little one over the long weekend. Sometimes you need to walk away from the pressure of deadlines and take a step back and gain a fresh perspective. Baby is just so deliriously happy when I understand what he is trying to say. He is having full on conversations with me in baby talk. It is just wonderful watching the facial expressions he is making. So serious. Ah it’s the little things that bring you joy. I have been a hermit for the last few days and I am now ready to venture out again. One more day off and then back to the weekly grind. I feel like a new woman, sleep will do that for you.  I am so grateful that I can spend time with my family, that I am healthy and can get a good night’s sleep under this roof. As I wonder through my home just checking in on all of my children, I can’t help but feel blessed. Love and light to you all.

A moment of clarity

One of the reasons I am so passionate about helping others and sharing my experiences is because of the profound change it had on my life to choose the right path for me and to actually walk upon it. No lip service, no excuses and no more blaming other people for my problems. I could so easily have let it beat me. I could have spiraled into depression, turned to drugs and alcohol and lashed out at everyone around me. Believe me sometimes I did. Then I had a moment of clarity. All of my focus was within and pushing out. All one way traffic. I spent years of my life where I did not actually feel anything. I did not live at all. I was so afraid of getting hurt again. Then a glimmer of light. I looked out and started focusing within. My spirit within was special. We are here in this universe together and we all have that special light within. We just have to let it shine. Once the door opened, that was it. That was all it took. I could never go back. I asked many questions and researched alot. I finally found the path for me and I achieved this elusive happiness from within. No one could take that away from me. I wake up happy and I go to bed the same way. No matter what life brings. Any one can achieve this. I really believe that. Love and Light to you all. 🙂