I wouldn’t have it any other way

I have been absent from the blogesphere for a while. I have been dealing with a personal crisis that has subsided for now anyway. One thing I have noticed is how life goes on – no matter what is happening around you. I still had to look after the family. I still had to work two jobs. I had to contend with the everyday running of the household. I had to put up a front to my children as I did not want to worry them. I lost sleep. I became ill as I was run down. But life still had to go on. How many of us do this everyday?  It helped knowing that my problems were not so bad and that there are others dealing with much more than I – this put things into perspective. It helped to know that this will pass and things will get better. I know that. Meditation has become all the more important as I contend with a crook neck due to the stress. I have been trying to focus on the children and the joy that they can bring. I have been spending time with my family and friends. But something had to give and that was my writing. It is very difficult to get into the right head space to be creative when you are feeling overwhelmed with life. I am back. How I miss using my creative outlet. It feels like I have lost a part of me when I am away.

My little boy is nearly two and I have been really enjoying watching him learn to speak. He certainly knows how to make himself understood even if he doesn’t know all the words yet 🙂 My eldest is learning how to drive – what fun that is. The kids are on school holidays so there goes any assemblance of routine for two weeks 🙂 I am just so happy that we are all together, happy and healthy. What more can I ask for. I am so grateful. My house is certainly lived in and life is not perfect – I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sending out love and light to everyone.

Everything else is just gravy

My life has been full of contradictions lately. From day to day, even from hour to hour, it has been a curious mix of good and bad. I know that life has a way of doing that. You make choices and you have to live with the consequences of your actions. I also know stuff happens and that is just the way that it is. Sometimes you can have a feeling of such elation and then be plunged into utter despair, such is life. I am very grateful for the life I have, it is full of family and love. I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard, which is more than most. My children keep me grounded and as long as they are healthy and happy, then everything else is just gravy.

There has been plenty of self talk. When I feel myself plunging into my old negative ways of self doubt, I give myself a kick in the seat of the pants and desist. I am a good person, I am not my past and I am not the person others make me out to be. I have broken that old record and that recording no longer controls me. I have had a very turbulent three years and it is all about to come to an end and I am ecstatic at that prospect. 🙂

Something big is coming and my life will never be the same. It is going to be very positive. I believe that. I am making that choice.

For anyone feeling like there is no end, that all is dark and there is no way out, take heart. Nothing ever stays the same. Focus on bringing joy to others then joy will come to you. Sending out love, light and healing to all.

Trish

Sleep will do that for you

I had a few days off away from writing so I could recuperate 🙂 I have finally caught up with my sleep and had a great time bonding with my little one over the long weekend. Sometimes you need to walk away from the pressure of deadlines and take a step back and gain a fresh perspective. Baby is just so deliriously happy when I understand what he is trying to say. He is having full on conversations with me in baby talk. It is just wonderful watching the facial expressions he is making. So serious. Ah it’s the little things that bring you joy. I have been a hermit for the last few days and I am now ready to venture out again. One more day off and then back to the weekly grind. I feel like a new woman, sleep will do that for you.  I am so grateful that I can spend time with my family, that I am healthy and can get a good night’s sleep under this roof. As I wonder through my home just checking in on all of my children, I can’t help but feel blessed. Love and light to you all.