Monthly Archives: April 2014

I can wait

Does anyone else have the feeling that I do right now? The feeling that something big is coming. That change is just around the corner. That this mundane life we are leading is just a precursor to something better. I really do believe it.
I have been slowly but steadily removing/cutting out anything from life that would hold me back. No more negative people or situations. It is as if I am clearing out the closet of my life to allow something new to appear. For some reason I am in a great place of peace right now. You would think that I would be impatient. I just know that things will fall into place at the perfect time.
I can wait. I know that it is going to be fantastic and I can wait. I have the rest of my life to celebrate that. I know deep in my heart that this is one of those moments in life that I am so happy to be aware of. We don’t always know what is coming and I for one am so excited to just be.
My heart and mind are open to all of the new possibilities. I am sending out love to everyone who needs it tonight. Why not share this awesome feeling with you all. I am blessed.

It has nothing to do with you

I have been putting a lot of thought into how I am reacting to others in my life. I know that I cannot change how people behave, I can only change how I react to their behaviour. I fear that I have been living a little like a hermit, kind of trying to avoid other peoples dramas. I have been very happy with the peacefulness. There are some people that you should just avoid entirely. Those that go out of their way to make you feel bad. It is as if they need to do it to make themselves feel better. It has nothing to do with you. Thank goodness.

I am listening to my children laugh and having fun around me and I am content. Even though it is 11.30pm and I have to work tomorrow. I attended a belated easter lunch today with all the family and it was wonderful watching my two year old search for easter treats in the garden. It was such a lovely day and we all came home with a food coma.

I have been getting so much joy from my little one lately. He is nearly two years old and it is funny to see him trying to push through all the boundaries to test the limits. It is to be expected and I have so much more patience for him than I ever did with the older two. Older and wiser (maybe) and so much less anxiety the second time around. I am relaxed and it shows. My son is so laid back and happy. He is a joy to be around. He sleeps all night and eats well. Now just to get him toilet trained. 🙂

Nothing is forever

Sitting in front of the computer tonight listening to the wind howling outside. It is strong enough to rattle the window panes. Makes it kind of hard to think straight. I have made some major life changes recently and I have to say that it is as messy as I thought it would be. My emotions have been up and down like a roller coaster ride. But at least I am feeling them. They come, I feel them and then they pass. There were many years of my young life where I felt nothing at all just so I could survive each day. Nothing is forever. The changes are necessary. One of my new years resolutions was to remove people from my life that were negative, holding me back or just plain disrespecting or hurting me. Needless to say this is causing major upheavals in my life as some of those people are family. You don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose if you want to hang with them. It is sad. But it is necessary.

I am a good person and I am following my own spiritual path. This path is one where I can connect with others in a positive way. Spread the love so to speak 🙂 The recordings that I hear over and over from my youth are starting to fade. I am worthy. I am loved. Tonight I am sending out love, light and healing to all those people who need it. Blessings.

 

Do you believe that you have a choice?

Which path do you choose? Do you have a choice? Do you believe that you have a choice?

I have been thinking about this lately as I am finding many people in my life that are showing up and pushing this into my face. (Well it certainly feels like it anyway). There are many people who I notice live in denial land. They are quite happy not to see the reality or to blame someone or something else for their lot in life. They prefer to not have to deal with the consequences of their actions. This would be ok if the consequences only affected them. But sadly this is not the case in the real world. In the real world people get hurt at the hands of those that do not see or do not wish to see. You usually would say that these people are selfish and show no empathy towards others. They ride rough shod over others feelings and move onto the next victim. We all know someone like that. They act like they know what empathy is. They know what it looks like in others. But they prefer to manipulate to get what they want because that is more important to them. Is this because they have no choice, no control over their actions? I always thought that everyone had a choice. But I am finding that it is hard for me to believe that someone would live that way willingly. To lurch from one drama to the next, over and over again. It sounds like torture to me. To feel that you have to justify your actions to everyone all the time would just be exhausting.

How do you deal with it? This would depend on your own coping skills. It would also depend on who that person is in your life. You know the old adage “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”. It is easy to avoid a non-family member, but what if it is your immediate family? Do you cut them out of your life or do you find a way to be civil? Do you cope with the toxic family relationships because you know that to break away would invite a barrage of drama (and by this I mean emotional blackmail – you know master manipulators) by the others to bring you back into line to play the role that you have always played? I find it quite interesting how someone can take such awful behaviour from family because it is what they are used to, even if logically you know it is wrong, you still catch yourself falling into old behaviour patterns.

Choosing to follow a different path will invite resistance and sometimes pain. Here is another gem – It is a sign of insanity to repeat the same thing over and over again and expect a different outcome. You come to a point in life where you have no option but to change. You have every right to feel safe in your own home. You do not have to accept these behaviours just because it has always been that way. We all have that inner strength to change our lives for the better. You just have to believe it.

Life is about living – not surviving, waiting, expecting, wishing or hoping to be happy.

Be aware that you have a choice. You can decide to avoid people who influence your life in a negative way. Surround yourself with those spirits that see the real you and accept you for who you are. Understand that to focus on the past, the negative patterns and the pain stops you from living in the here and now. Shine your light into this world, it is what you were put on this earth for. Do not let anyone stand in your way. You come from love. You are loved every day of your life. Do not end up on your death bed full of regret about a chance that was lost.

You may be thinking – easier said than done and that is so true. The spiritual path that you choose to walk upon is yours and yours alone. Let it be about positive and happy thoughts. Love.

Link

The Job Interview That Will Really Surprise You!

The Job Interview That Will Really Surprise You!

You would have to be crazy to do this job………….right LOL

As I was watching this video, part of the way through I guessed which job it was.

It is the best job in the world!

I wouldn’t have it any other way

I have been absent from the blogesphere for a while. I have been dealing with a personal crisis that has subsided for now anyway. One thing I have noticed is how life goes on – no matter what is happening around you. I still had to look after the family. I still had to work two jobs. I had to contend with the everyday running of the household. I had to put up a front to my children as I did not want to worry them. I lost sleep. I became ill as I was run down. But life still had to go on. How many of us do this everyday?  It helped knowing that my problems were not so bad and that there are others dealing with much more than I – this put things into perspective. It helped to know that this will pass and things will get better. I know that. Meditation has become all the more important as I contend with a crook neck due to the stress. I have been trying to focus on the children and the joy that they can bring. I have been spending time with my family and friends. But something had to give and that was my writing. It is very difficult to get into the right head space to be creative when you are feeling overwhelmed with life. I am back. How I miss using my creative outlet. It feels like I have lost a part of me when I am away.

My little boy is nearly two and I have been really enjoying watching him learn to speak. He certainly knows how to make himself understood even if he doesn’t know all the words yet 🙂 My eldest is learning how to drive – what fun that is. The kids are on school holidays so there goes any assemblance of routine for two weeks 🙂 I am just so happy that we are all together, happy and healthy. What more can I ask for. I am so grateful. My house is certainly lived in and life is not perfect – I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sending out love and light to everyone.

The things we do

 

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One day in our back yard we found a spider wasp trying to carry a paralysed huntsmen spider up our glass sliding door. I had never seen a spider wasp before. I had to look it up on the internet. Apparently they travel solo and stun spiders to use as feeding bays for their young. The spiders are still alive when their babies are born. Ew. I called a pest specialist to see what I could do. They advised I try to spray it with insecticide and not make it angry. NOT make it angry. We were freaking out about going outside at all. I eventually got up the courage to venture outside with a fly swatter and a can of fly spray. I was the mummy and it was my job. I sprayed that sucker several times. It got angry and flew away. At least it dropped the spider. I could not catch it to kill it. So we still didn’t venture outside for some for fear of running into a pissed off spider wasp.