My life has been full of contradictions lately. From day to day, even from hour to hour, it has been a curious mix of good and bad. I know that life has a way of doing that. You make choices and you have to live with the consequences of your actions. I also know stuff happens and that is just the way that it is. Sometimes you can have a feeling of such elation and then be plunged into utter despair, such is life. I am very grateful for the life I have, it is full of family and love. I have a roof over my head and food in the cupboard, which is more than most. My children keep me grounded and as long as they are healthy and happy, then everything else is just gravy.
There has been plenty of self talk. When I feel myself plunging into my old negative ways of self doubt, I give myself a kick in the seat of the pants and desist. I am a good person, I am not my past and I am not the person others make me out to be. I have broken that old record and that recording no longer controls me. I have had a very turbulent three years and it is all about to come to an end and I am ecstatic at that prospect. 🙂
Something big is coming and my life will never be the same. It is going to be very positive. I believe that. I am making that choice.
For anyone feeling like there is no end, that all is dark and there is no way out, take heart. Nothing ever stays the same. Focus on bringing joy to others then joy will come to you. Sending out love, light and healing to all.
For all of those single mothers out there, in fact for every parent out there…..This is a message for you. Remember to take the time that you need to take care of yourself. We are so used to putting everyone else first that we often forget about our needs. Don’t let it go. What is the point of getting run down and becoming ill, that leads to being unable to take of your family. I have had a big reminder of this lately and tonight I am sending out love, light and healing to all those people who need it right now. We are people too and we do not have super powers. Although sometimes we wish we did 🙂
I have had a very busy week, I think I am forgetting what it is like to relax and have some fun 🙂 However, I did make some time to watch a house full of kids whoop and holler through a game of nerf wars. For those of you unfamiliar with this, it is a game of ambush using plastic childrens toys that shoot foam darts. And these “children” are all over 17 years of age. It was hilarious.
I have been putting some thought into my recently published book and organising some book signings and I am investigating what it would be like to attend a huge mind, body and spirit festival in Melbourne in June 2014. All new to me. I am still feeling my way.
The second draft of my script has been slow going. I think purely because it is all new to me also and I have no one to be a sounding board. It is very interesting though. A thoroughly different format for me to get my head around. I love a challenge. 🙂
My baby has now begun to add to his vocabulary of words. The latest are: yes and no and he is sounding out everyone’s names. It is so cute to watch his little mind tick over. You can almost hear the gears grinding in there. 🙂
There is something to be said for delegation. Especially when you have such a large workload in front of you. I have decided to seek the services of an arts student to help me complete my drawings for my Tarot cards. I have hand drawn all 78 of the graphics myself, but I need someone to pretty them up and make them digital for printing. I would truly appreciate any suggestions here.
I have been sitting here tonight marking tests for my uni students. I have been reflecting on how much I enjoy teaching. I enjoy making the time for my own children. Their laughter fills my heart with joy. My house is what you would call lived in and comfortable. It is never spotless with so many children around. But I would like my memories to be about fun times and not how clean my house was.
I have come to realise that my ability to involve everyone in the day to day family time in my house is precious. Everyone feels valued, as if they belong to a whole. We all contribute to our little tribe. I would not have it any other way. Even simple things like chatting around the dinner table every night is so very important. In this day and age when everything is moving so fast and technology is ever present. Communication – face to face – is an art that must never be lost. We all need to practice our listening skills. We all have a right to be heard. Hey, it has to start somewhere, why not at home? Love and light to all.
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Tagged baby, book, challenge, children, communication, fun, joy, love, relax, script, spirit, tarot
It is amazing what you can fit into one day. Albeit my only day off. But as a mother you don’t get any time off 🙂 Dropped one child off to school, attended some appointments and then took my baby to swimming lessons. It is only his third one, but he is already so confident he wants to go off without me. It brings me so much joy to share this experience with him. Then it was home for lunch and a nap – for the baby, not me! The little prince decided to remove his nappy and relieved himself all over his cot. Oh the joys of motherhood. Had to strip the bed and wash everything. Then two more appointments all with baby in tow. So many times that I had to pull the stroller out of the car and put it back in and the baby too. I am getting muscles on my muscles 🙂 Then off home to put dinner on. Followed by bath time. Playing with blocks and chatting with my little boy before I put him to bed. One of the highlights of the day has been watching my little one come out with new words – the latest one has been the word “mess” which he is very good at making. I have also been dealing with some issues regarding the baby’s father, but I won’t bore you with that. I am sitting here at the end of the day and going over my busy day. This is my ‘me’ time. I am focusing on my breathing and doing some meditation. My writing also brings me joy. I am doing my best to notice the little things, the moments that make up your life. My life is one long series of moments. The days go by very quickly. I want to savour those moments. I want to share that joy with my family. And to you also. We see so much despair in this world, I believe that these little moments of joy are worth holding onto. I want to send love, light and healing out to all those people who need it tonight. My heart is full. Blessings.
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Tagged baby, family, healing, heart, home, joy, light, love, meditation, mother, writing
When you are under stress, have you noticed that your breathing becomes shallow and you feel light headed. That is because you are literally starving yourself of oxygen and you don’t even know you are doing it. It is time to stop and take a deep breath in, fill your lungs to capacity and then slowly exhale. Breath in all of the good and positive thoughts and exhale the negative. Try this a few times. You will slowly feel better. Works for me. It is also a way to release the tension you are holding inside. The muscles in your body will relax. A positive way to shift your focus. Good night all.
Ever have one of those days where everything seems to be going along swimmingly when BAM something just smacks you down (metaphorically speaking of course). You get upset, it becomes all consuming and you can’t think of anything else. I am talking about the stressful stuff that you can’t avoid. You just have to deal with it one way or another. We have all been there right. I have had one such day today. That is why I am still up and writing at 2am. I went to bed and tried to process things so I could eventually get to sleep as I have to work tomorrow….oops today! I just couldn’t do it. So I got up and I have ended up on the computer writing about how I feel. Firstly I am very angry which is really just frustration. I do not have any control over another person’s actions. Instead of losing it I am sitting here formulating a response. Not one that is based on emotion, but hopefully on fact and being logical (just like spock – live long and prosper).:) I am starting to feel better as I now have a plan. I will deal with each day as it comes and try not to be so hard on myself. A bit of compassion goes a long way. I can feel the old me coming back. Joyful. I can go back to bed now. 🙂 Blessings to you.
I have been struggling to fit my writing into the daily routine. Any writing that is. By the time you get to the end of the day, it is a struggle to find the motivation. I have two day jobs and three children, a mortgage and a loveable cat. Any parent will tell you that is a heck of a lot of work and responsibility. But I usually find the time. Without your passion for life, it just becomes one long chain of drudgery. I don’t know about you, but that is not what I signed up for. I focus on the joy. My children bring me joy most of the time 🙂 Hey just keeping it real. I love teaching. I love to write. I should make time for that. I do not want to wake up in 20 years and regret my life. Sure, I lead a very busy life and I like it that way. But I also know what is important to me. I will not have any regrets on my death bed. I will look back on my life see that the relationships were important, especially the one with myself. I strive for that connection with my spiritual self, my family and my friends. The material stuff, well you can’t take it with you. Love and light to you all.
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Tagged cat, children, family, friends, joy, life, love, motivation, parent, passion, responsibility, spiritual, write