That night…..things would never be the same

Diary Entry – 4th October 2013

I close my eyes and they are there, always

Reverse shadows jump out at me from the dark, stark white

I cannot make out their faces but I see them

They are trying to get my attention

Trying desperately to connect with me

I open my eyes and look away

What is the message? Do I want to know?

It only happens at night when all is quiet just before sleep envelops me

If I really concentrate maybe I can understand

Am I ready for it?

I need to get some sleep

I am fooling myself if I think I can outfox them by not sleeping

But when I am exhausted, I go straight to sleep and I can’t see them

I need a drink or some pills

That would help me to forget, to block them out

I don’t know how much longer I can do this

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